Let me introduce myself...

HELLO FRIENDS

I am not being open and honest and that needs to change.

My 'friend' asked me, "do you write about me?" I said, "no, I don't write specifics."

"YOU SHOULD!" I was told, "people like reading about personal things."

It's true and I've always known that, so why on earth have I been so unfriendly?

Venus squares Pluto in my chart and I have just discovered the following (I always knew there was a defect, I refer to this as my defect!)  I have taken some extracts from www.cafeastrology.com - my go to site for information for the past five years!

Bossy Lover - Venus Pluto 

In an attempt to control the outcome of a love relationship, or the loved one's feelings, you can turn to manipulative games. Even if you do "succeed" at it, there is never a feeling that you've won someone over for who you are, and this feeds a vicious cycle that you should try to avoid getting yourself into. Your feelings are intense, and even extreme, when it comes to love. You might attract intense relationships that have love-hate themes as a result. You are passionate when you love, definitely, but also passionate when you hate. You easily put pressure on your partner, as you expect much loyalty and honesty in your intimate relationships. Be careful not to let your relationships get to a point where your partner is superfluous and you are working through your own inner demons through him or her. Certainly, you will learn much about yourself through your relationships, and you may not always like what you see. You will meet yourself (the "darker" side or inner demons) through your relationships, and it will be critical that you recognize it as your own "material" and not project it onto your partner. Letting go of a relationship can be hard for you to do, especially if Venus is in a fixed sign (Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, or Aquarius).

You are capable of being a great manipulator and are often caught up trying to make things appear a certain way. You are the one who suffers from this tendency the most. You tend to get tied down to a pattern of endless repetition in relationships. You have difficulty in letting go even when a situation is painful. You are always dealing with people as symbols of others who are not even present. Love and power become confused with one another. You have a deeply lodged need to establish your sense of self worth. Once this is secure you can overcome your fear of being dissolved in a relationship built on equality and will start having more normal interactions. You need to be less concerned with how you appear to others and more concerned with how you are.

I think it's a significant defect!  My need to CONTROL my situation and fears of how I am perceived  hold me back and keep me repeating the same things over and over... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTMD3Xy8wWc (funny that this is my favorite song.)

The below is also true; Mercury and Neptune are in line, they are "in conjunction" so my communication (Mercury) is influenced by the gassy, dreamy and creative quality of Neptune (ruler of Pisces and all things arty.)  This indicates my interest in writing, photography, chemistry, natural medicines and again, my ability to present a story and ultimately, manipulate (I'm a terrible person to argue with because I always find the last word... I pull it out the air!)

Mercury conjunction Neptune in your chart, you are highly intuitive and creative. You have a real appreciation for artistic and literary endeavors, especially fiction and fantasy, and many of you are talented in the arts. It can be hard to focus on straight facts, or to be objective, because your perceptions are often distorted (or enhanced) by your wishes and dreams. Your mind often wanders, and you are often found daydreaming. You are excellent at visualization and creative expression. You may not have a lot of confidence in your ability to communicate effectively, simply because there can be a lot of hesitation or confusion in your self-expression, but generally others find you intriguing and creative. In fact, you might be a fascinating story teller. Stretching the truth can be a problem with this conjunction, and it is not always done consciously. Your imagination is strong, and it often colors your perceptions. You resist being pinned down to a particular opinion or stance, largely due to the fact that you see so many ways of looking at something. Routine or dull learning programs are unlikely to stimulate you. You long to connect to something higher and larger, and so you tend to glamorize or dramatize.

 Mercury/Neptune contacts indicate an active imagination, sensitive perceptions, and heightened intuition. Your mind is open to the more subtle or spiritual aspects of reality. You have a gift for sensing public moods and anticipating future trends. In adversarial relationships, you readily sense your opponent's motives and potential strategic moves. This skill is useful for fields as diverse as diplomacy, creative writing, journalism, marketing, financial investing, military planning, and psychic investigation. The creative and imaginative aspects of Neptune often indicate a talent for art, music, painting, sketching, acting, film, photography, and so on. You may have an interest in studying Neptune-ruled matters such as oils, gases, chemicals, medicines, or anything involving the feet. You could also be interested in hypnosis, counseling, meditation, dream analysis, psychic phenomena, and spiritual development. 

In terms of astrology this is part of who I am and WHAT I WANT TO OVERCOME is my control freakery and inability to say what I think.  For the past... 7 years my new years resolution is "BE LESS COMPLICATED say what you think."

Pluto - Saturn - Scorpion Secrecy... I need to move away from all this darkness and move towards a Sagittarian / Taurus VIBE of grounded, colourful FUN!

So...

It

is

time

to

be

more

open

and

less

mental!

There is a challenge!!

Eeeeeek!

x