I just received a Groupon email selling me kitchen and loo roll with The Snowman on. Synchronistic; there will be lots of water to mop up!  Time to post this I think; snow season is on the way…  This applies to men and women but for the purpose of the story I’ll stick to man.

I first came up with Snowman Theory © in 2012 after another mini drama!

A bleak, empty, cold, overwhelming disappointment and heartbreak, like this;


Let me start at the beginning.

You meet a man and your world comes to life like in all the good love stories.  He’s not just another (snow)man, he’s in your home, he’s in your world.  He’s exploring your house, you play together, laugh and you rediscover the magic of the mundane.



LAUGHING. Always laughing.

… then you set out for an adventure!


You find a motorbike and play in the garden, it’s cold, but you don’t care! You’re delighted, and still laughing!


You take that LEAP, you fly, you soar… you fall in love.


Above the world, gilding above everyone else… They are all existing, you are living.

It’s a romantic adventure of next level proportions. Your heart is light, the northern lights glitter and THIS IS HAPPINESS… that… that is what it’s all about.  Connection, trust, sameness. Together.  Flying. Off to Santa’s party in the woods! Meeting his friends, dancing, drinking, enjoying together.  Your worlds are colliding, together you create a new universe and a whole new perspective.

snowman part

Such joy!  Sleepy, you fly home together. What a magical adventure, you feel close to someone, safe, happy… full of HOPE!
You wake up the next morning and the memory gently slides into your awareness and you refill with that same warmness.  Delighted and excited, you jump out of bed and run to see him.

You run outside and the spineless motherfu**er has MELTED.

This is heartbreak in its purest form.  Sheer disappointment, grief and feelings of confusion and pointless waste.


Wasn’t it was great? Romantic, fun, deliriously delightful?

Yeah but thanks… He’s had his fun.. CYA BYE.  I’m slush now. CIAO!


It was nice while it lasted but it’s over.

This is Snowman Theory © They melt.

What can we learn from this?

Watch out for excessively “charming” people they are flaunting their ego, not engaging in emotional connection, even if you are.

Do you know what EGO is? 

Ego is the part of us that wants to win, it wants attention, to be praised and recognized. Ego needs to be right and to show off.  Ego lacks grace, manners and decorum.  Ego doesn’t understand the refined happiness of being understated, secure and humble; ego wants to be entertained, praised, flattered and is very very self-indulgent.

When we let go of the ego, we take life at the correct and natural pace, we live within our limits , following our true instinct; NOT the need for constant activity and attention. When we are quiet, our immature ego will bugger off and leave us to our instincts.

Women with ego problems tend to chase men with ego problems… both are seeking attention and engaging in power struggles. This is a two way street. Let it go!

Ways to stop a snowman from melting?

Play it cool.

Throw snowballs at them. (Be mean, it confounds the ego.)

Leave them outside. (Ignore them, the ego is comprised of both EXCESSIVE positive and negative self-esteem, this is why it needs so much reassurance.  Without reassurance they chase your attention and affection; when they get it then they are satisfied, free to melt onto their next diversion.)

Or… just enjoy the fun and accept the certain and imminent end to your adventure. Snowmen and Snow-women are easy to spot; a large ego, lively character and a need for attention gives them away!

Good fun, but seasonal.

Don’t pick someone seasonal, we live in the UK, you need to be prepared for all weather.

That was the 2012 version, the 2015 version ends like this;


Move over ice baby 🙂

If it starts “snowing again” and that MOFO shows up during a Venus Retrograde then send them back to Antarctica for the penguins to piss on.

Penguins mate for life.